Tan lines.

The tan lines overlapped from the last beach outing.  And my brown skin became browner.

I never cared when I was here.  I was just happy, calm.  I was breathing.  I was under the bright blue sky over the clear but blue waters.  It was simple indulgence.

I can do this over and over again.  Anytime.  No questions asked.



Thunderbird Resorts and Casino, Poro Point, La Union.  September 10, 2016






Maybe it’s true love.

It found its way on a cold December night. Conversation was light and simple.  Friends are slowly easing their way out to catch a free concert at the plaza.  I stayed comfortably seated on the sofa.

Conversations with her was light.  We talked of how spending the holidays at a foreign land gives a different meaning of being away,  of being lonely.

My phone buzzed.

I asked how she’s coping and if it eased up after spending five years away from home.  She smiled and said that friends acting as families helps.  She added that skype and whatsApp too. She smiled.

I pressed cancel on my phone when it started to ring.

I smiled and in that instant I know I want to kiss her.  And I did.

My phone started buzzing again.


Above was the beginning of their love story.  Maybe I am biased since I was at the other end.

I was the person calling him.  Disturbing him at that exact moment when he decided that ours was not worthy to be kept.  He kissed her while we are together.


Being cheated was the worst.  Being devastated didn’t come close.  It was death while trying to live.


Forward to today.  I learned that they are happy.  A baby is added.

There was a twinge.  I breathed out so that I can breathe normally.  I remembered it again.  The pain.  And how I survived.

And then came the wish I had for him.  That if not me, then I hope she is.  His true love.





To you.

imageMany had asked when will it be my time
To walk down the aisle
In something white

I told them you are running a bit late
And is fixing something to be right
And things didn’t go my way too

But I believe you are on your way
Of course you are
And we will have our own sweet time

And until then I’ll rock this pink gown
And create a vivid picture on my mind
That someday soon you’ll be the one at the altar
And I am wearing white!.

Maybe right, maybe not.

My heart is ripped every breath I take. If this is what it takes to hold on to the one decision I made 72 hours to go, then so be it. It is hurting me now, it must be hurting him too and yet we have to do what is right. For everyone. For him. But most especially for me.

I backslid after. I sent messages. I called. He never replied or picked up the phone. I guess he started what I asked him to do. Not to call me. Not to see me again.

I drowned it with some bottles too. Even if it’s bad for me. Just to get numb.

It maybe right, maybe not. But I made it already. I can’t retract.

They say a decision is right when you’re at peace after. I am not. So did I made a bad one?


Sail away.


To where the tulips grow
And trees are yellow
To where the fountains are
Where wishes I can blow.


To where the water is blue
The sky is always clear
To where the white powdery sand
And the waves lapping by.


To where the sky is yellow, red and orange
As the sun sets at the far west
As the black night sky clears
To pave for the stars and the moonrays.


To where the grass is green
And the air is sweet smelling
Where I walk barefoot
To the earth’s soft and brown.


To where I wake up to the sun’s light
Inching it’s way and shining bright
And then at night as I lay
Dreams are all coming it’s way.