Christmas Magic!

Somewhere between sipping my coffee today, I realize that maybe one of the magical things that can happen during Christmas is having a wish come true. I don’t know where this came from but this made me smile. I haven’t really wished for anything material when I blew the candle of my birthday cake a few days ago. I really can’t remember what was on my mind either. Maybe I didn’t even have a wish anymore. Maybe I am too old for that now.

And the last couple of years my Christmas holiday was anything but happy. With the break- up as 2012 ended and the meet up last year during the holidays where the pain came rushing back again, the only thing on my mind during these two years was to get out and to leave home. Though I know the chance that we will meet again is very unlikely, just the thought that he is just four houses away makes me want to run as fast and as far away as possible. And so the last couple of years, Christmas was just sad and painful.

True, there was not an excitement to go home especially when dreams related to the ex had been coming in and out of my sleep lately. But I have no excuse but to come home so here I am now. I don’t know what came to me this morning but the thought of what the magic of Christmas can do gives me some warm and fuzzy feeling.

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Maybe the wishes I desire most are the prayers I utter every night. Nothing material but of some that may make life a little bit happier. Maybe selfish as it all pertains to what I want. They say you can never pray too hard or too long for something that your heart desires and so even though my mind sometimes gives up on certain dreams, the heart never stops. It fights it way so that the mind wouldn’t too. It even gives a kick when my mind began to falter. Talk about being hard-hearted!

And so whatever magic Christmas is doing with the prayers I have right now, it is good. And I accept. I feel happy.

I don’t know and I can’t think of any reasons what the Christmas magic is up to. This may even be a make believe! But heck, if it’s feels this good, I wouldn’t deny. I’ll have a grateful heart and I’ll enjoy very sip of my coffee during this Christmas days.

TwentyFourteen.

I started Year 2013 on a bad note.  I struggled the first few months but learned to moved on.  I learned to accept that somethings and some people never really stays for good.  And sometimes they leave taking something away from you and yet you learn to accept this too.  I learned the hard way in 2013.  The trust quotient and self-esteem has gotten into its super low, I made bad decisions at work, even snapped at few people.  I was mean the whole time, hate and anger ruled my heart.  

This made up my first half.  But I got tired.  The negativity sucked my whole being.  
And I decided to let go.

Friends and family helped me through.  Writing and this blog was my voice to all what’s inside me.  It was hard to get back but since I know that no one will help me but myself and I realized that I owe it to friends and family especially the sisters who’ve been helping me through,  I snapped back.

And so I look forward to 2014.  With a little bit of fear to make it exciting, with some smile to brighten each day, with a whole lot of hope and faith to carry me through, with much gratitude for all things I now have and for the things that will be.  With a little love to put sunshine on my days, maybe some good sunsets to appreciate life  more.

So for 2014,  I made my list.  May your 2014 be as prosperous!

1.  Choose well. 

2.  Forget the past but not its lessons.  And sometimes, it’s okay to look back just to check how far you already have come. 

3.  Be kind to everyone.  Be kinder to yourself.

4.  Got this from one of my readings :  Be okay with giving the gift of your absence to those who do not appreciate and respect your presence.

5.  Read more.  Write more!

6.  Exercise more.  Eat well.

7.  Travel to new places – Bali, Batanes, Paris, South Korea, Coron.

8.  Travel alone.

9.  Peace of mind and of heart.  Happiness in all its form. Love in all areas.

10.  More blessings to share.  

11.  Be a blessing to others.

12.  Be grateful.  See the positives in the negatives.

13.  Learn to forgive others.  Learn to forgive oneself too.

14.  Work hard.  Invest smart.

15.  Let go of the small stuff.

16.  Believe that the universe is limitless.  So ask for anything and everything.

17. Pray more.  Meditate.

18. Coffee and friends are always a good combination.  Give time for both.

19.  Sometimes it’s okay to put up walls.  To know who cares enough to knock them down.

20.  Smile. For every reason.  Especially when there’s no reason.

21.  Appreciate the little and simple things.

22.  Time, patience and faith.  Believe in them.

23.  Believe that God has a way of doing things – in His own way and and in His own time. Trust Him even if sometimes in your terms, it’s unfair and unreasonable.

24.  Love oneself.  You’ll never go wrong.

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Over a cold coffee while looking through.

I ordered my usual Christmas coffee drink in Starbucks after the birthday dinner on the 18th.  We had dinner earlier at a Japanese restaurant after braving the horrible Manila traffic which is not very unusual at this time of the year.  I am with my two single friends who happens to be my travel, dinner, coffee and movie buddies too.  We make time to come together as often since one of us work on a different time shift.  It’s good that we get along so well and likes the same stuff; the things we don’t agree upon – we learned to agree to disagree!  No complications, everyone happy.

In the midst of talking and joking with a friend overseas (thru the fb messenger) about the Starbucks planner my friend just got,  a sudden silence washed over us and we became silent (of course).  Each on its own thoughts.  My friend was busy on line with a colleague about work (yes, her work can be done online anytime, anywhere); the other friend is smiling and busy with his new planner which he decided not to write on it just like his planner last year (that’s why we are asking him to give it to one of us! but he never bulge!).  

And in that short second (maybe three or five seconds) of silence, I feel happy.  Contented even.  Or maybe i finally accepted that this life and this lifestyle I lead and everything in between is pure bliss.  Any of the above is okay with me.  Whatever is lacking with my life now, i feel grateful too.  It gives me inspiration to make better choices and decisions and drives me to work harder.

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“You want some muffin?”, my friend asked.  I said no.

I drank what remains of my coffee.  Now cold but still sweet.  And i smiled.

 

 

 

Check.

Dear Universe,

Now I am good.  Happy even!

And so I am putting a check on the ever-important box on that corner called LOVE.  I am ready so bring it on!

Thank you.

 

PS.  Remember I once told you that I lost my heart?  Well, I finally found it – it’s pink and it has stripes!  How cool is that?pink and stripes

 

Love,

Mhy

Thank you!

It was five months ago when I actively started writing again to free my thoughts and let them fly to nowhere.

I have to release every emotion I have inside my heart because of a recent relationship failure.  And i know this space can somehow take whatever angst I throw it to.  And it didn’t fail.

And  now everything is here.  It is a testament of what I went through because of that breakup.  It chronicles all the tears, pain, the moving on, the learning and truths I realized, and some inspirations I held on and believed in  order to face it.

True, this unfortunate event pushed me to write again.  But I am not complaining.  The number of people who dropped by, liked, commented, and now who follows I am forever indebted.  You were there in everything I went through.  I may not personally thank you but know that you were all appreciated.

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I can clearly and honestly say that I made it through the last five months because of writing.  I didn’t write to impress or to get some followings but you were an added bonus, my cherries on top.  Every likes, comments and follows I got somehow took a little bit of the pain.

And so as I continue to enjoy the journey of my so-called single life,  I hope to share it with you.  And just maybe, I can brighten your day too!

Salamat muli.