L stands for Love; it can mean Loneliness too…

It comes in the night, slowly sitting beside you in the dark.  Worst, it sometimes steals sleep and lies beside you all through the night until the morning sets in.  It sometimes sits beside you during dinner, sometimes even making silent conversations, until you feel it staring and judging and then finally realizing that the tears are already forming a pool on the edge of the table.

That’s loneliness for me.

ADD missing someone like the ex.  Equals deadly.

It is on these times that I pull my strongest will.  I put away my mobile phone where I can easily send a text message or an email to him.  I distract myself – pray, watch tv, read, exercise, eat, sleep, go out, call another friend, pray again, watch tv, read, sleep, go out, pray again – and do anything – anything, just so I will not backslide.  It is damn hard but when I go back to the day when he told me it is over and he doesn’t want me in his life anymore, I snap back.image

I wouldn’t let my being alone (and sometimes being lonely) crack me and bring me back to Day One (again) especially that I have slowly moved away from him, from the worst feeling he made me feel.

And when I feel loneliness is winning over me, I just remind myself that he broke my heart.  And that’s the best reason to kick loneliness out!


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