B,
One month today, you made a decision that changed it all.
On your end, it is the best decision as you will be at your happiest, so you say. It will be a convenient, easy, no- complications situation. I believe you want it to end that day and not hold it any longer. Because you saw an opening. You just put aside everything that was made and shared for the past 355 days and took a chance on what happened on that casual night. You made me accept that this was the bravest thing you could do. That you are risking and taking a chance for your happiness.
I had no choice that day. I had to be brave in accepting your decision. Because I know I can’t persuade you to change it anymore. You never know what you put me through after that.
What I want you to know is that the shock has worn off, the pain, though, pops in from time to time, and the anger is now manageable. But I am beginning to re-learn, to start over again. It may take me some more days, even months but I have taken the first step and that’s what’s important.
For you at that time, your decision was the best ever.
For me at that time, it wasn’t.
But today, as early as it may seem, it is turning out to be that way too. It is the BEST decision YOU ever MADE for ME.
People who knew about us made their point on me and put sense on my mind that ours is not to be listed on the “forever” list. Because it was damn complicated. And you already gave up when we are still at the onset of untying the complications ours is made off. What it is to fight for when giving up was your only solution?
Yes, I am better off without you. For the countless reasons my mind knows and my heart is willing to let go. I may be a bit broken now, but I know I am strong enough to believe that the fairy tale is true.
Will I wish you that too? Not today. Not yet.
S
Unsweetened Musings 