Step2

That’s what I’m doing now. Going back to the life before him.

After reading entries on my blog, it dawns on me that I had been doing okay before him. It may have been a home-work-home situation – with yoga, travel, movies and dinner with friends on the side – i have come to enjoy and love the life I had made. Alone.

Just today, after mass, I started reading my favorite paper while having breakfast. The other night, American Idol started its season 12 and I watched without him interrupting. I also started sleeping on time again and not wait for his late night calls. This week, I am joining a yoga class again.

This is my step two.

Funny, but I guess that I may not be in this situation alone this time. One of the articles I read today was a contribution titled ” With all I am”. The guy started his piece with all what he remembers with her – plans of buying and living on a small house with a couple of kids and a dog, of praying and singing the The Lord’ Prayer while holding hands tightly, of watching the movie ” bolt” together, of loving despite the distance, of always hearing her reply “always” when he ask if she’ll marry him, of thanking his God for bringing his best version to his life. Until she changed her mind. They were together for four years! And he’s starting to re-learn. To do things alone again.

Mine is just a year. But a breakup is a breakup however long it is. It creates a void. It asks so many whys. It questions worthiness and unworthiness.

I may not be singing “Almost Over You” for the next coming days but I am sure stepping my foot forward. One step at a time. One day at a time.

And just like the guy on the article, from here on, I will re-learn.

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2 thoughts on “Step2

  1. It took me year to get over the betrayal – and I still miss him. I know how you feel: life was really good and I liked my life too. I wish you well – you are doing it right – one step at a time. Enjoy the pleasure one finds in the little things. From there you will start seeing the bigger things. Best of luck. A

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