subconsciously reasoning out…

   “i never push myself into something i am not entitled to.  i know how to wait despite my low patience quotient.”

i uttered this words upon waking up today because there were tears on my eyes.  fat tears streaming down. tsk..tsk..tsk..  i dreamt that my boss was questioning me for attending a meeting i am not supposed to.  she was insisting that i shouldn’t have represented the department in that meeting.  she was repeating this over and over again.  with that i woke up.

i told this to my boss when i saw her.   she was laughing hard and told me that maybe i love her too  much that i even think about her in dreams.  hhmmm.  well, i am fairly close to my boss (but still manages to separate her being my superior).  we get along in topics concerning health, yoga (even this is just a theory for me), being happily single, artists and sometimes lovelife/relationships. she then added that most dreams mean the opposite.  well, this i hope.  it is much better that we laugh until we cry than she making me cry.

i haven’t thought about this until now.  i am still trying to decipher what this means.  maybe i’ll google.  then i’ll just do a postcript.


weekend eleven: lovelovelove

This weekend, I opted to stay at home just so I could catch on my sleep.  Last week had been this:  go home from the office at 7pm, reach home by 8pm, dinner at 830pm or 9pm, sleep at 11pm, and wake up at 520am. That’s basically six hour sleep and by my standards is not enough.  I crave for 8 hours or at least 7 hours just so I’ll not be cranky.  This weekend I got 11 hours. 

And this couple of weekends, I finished a book and a dvd that tickles the love bone in me  (from funny bone for lack of a better word).  Sundays at Tiffany’s by James Patterson is not a usual love story between Jane and Michael.   In the course of the book it becomes evident that Michael is a friend or an angel – a man whose mission is to be with a child until this child could adjust to whatever environment or situation he’s in.  He’s invisible to everyone but his ward. Just like Jane, she is an only child with mother whose only time for her is every Sunday afternoon.    He leaves her when she turns 9 just like every kid he was assigned to and as a rule every ward forgets this imaginary friend –but not Jane.  I stopped reading after this chapter.   I actually wasn’t very thrilled with the story line.  I even started another book to read.  Until this Saturday afternoon when I need to get sleep but never got it since I didn’t put down the book anymore and finished it.

I finished a Koreanovela dubbed in Tagalog last week.  Coffee Prince is a story of a rich guy who employed a girl who dress and acts like a boy just so she can get a job.  Story line is simple.  Boy meets boy, boy falls for him/her and wonders if he’s gay.  He then finds out and they become a couple. Only challenge in their relationship is his family who is super rich and his ambition to go to the States to work.  He didn’t pursue this US work and girl actually studied instead thru a scholarship given by his family.  She comes back and opened the Coffee Princess. The end.

And why I am writing about this again?  Well just what I wrote above, both stories tickled my love bone.  Sundays at Tiffany’s had a full chapter of a weekend travel where they got to spend a few days in Nantucket (not sure if this place is fiction or real).  Nantucket is nestled in an island where life is simple.  Michael and Jane did what most couples do on a get-away. There’s breakfast at their inn, walk along the beach sands, biking along the country road, fishing at the old port, talking endlessly, Michael watching as Jane sleeps. 

And while Sundays at Tiffany’s has a serious story line, Coffee Prince’s story is much lighter and elicits laughter from time to time.  Most of their couple times put a smile on my face – a stupid smile as we (well, anna) explicitly call it.  There’s also a lot of talking, walking in the beach, an early morning breakfast and a midnight drive.

And just as I am writing this, the trailer of Sarah and Gerald’s movie is playing.  It is just so cute.  Sarah is as likeable as ever and I am seeing Gerald in a Derek Ramsay way with his 3 day whiskers.  Ayayay…

Nakakakilig lang… Just loving the love!

Just as the week is about to end, kuya from the grocery douse me with cold water – well, figuratively.  He offered me the free coffee.  After I said my thank you, he asked for my husband!! Huh??!! As in!!  I just smiled and asked him “did you see anyone with me?”  He smiled.   No, I didn’t bitch and made nasty remarks anymore.  Kuya may have good intention of asking, so what for.  I just wheeled my cart far from him and just sip my hot coffee.

Maybe next week i’ll skip manong’s free coffee.. para lovelovelove lang. ; )

wanted: time.

as this day unfolds, i begin to ask what date it is again. my cousin smiled and uttered march 16 ate.. yay, march 16 already! i begin to wonder where had been the first two months and a half of the year went.  i had been asking the date of every morning as i always am confused with it. maybe because i am running out of time. it is flying as fast as it could and it’s making me breathless.  maybe asking them as often would atleast give me hope that maybe it’s not yet the day that it is.  that maybe it’s not yet march 16 but maybe march 2 or even february 12. 

i don’t know if this is healthy or not. wishing that today is not what it is.  maybe because i still have so much to do and the 24 hours in a day isn’t enough. yep, this is all about work. as if the work load now is the same last december when everyone is cramming to get everything done before the year ends. but dang, it is already march and it still feels like december.  adding to the fact the plans all lined up for the first quarter, the deadlines, the projects and back jobs that needs to be done – yayay… there was even one morning at 9am that i was already feeling the nerves… i began to cram and to rattle.  i began to get nervous i even shed a tear.  i dunno, the nerves of feeling not to accomplish anything.

i know asking to extend time in a day isn’t favorable to everyone.  a student wants to end a day full of exam, an athlete wants to end a day to rest, a wife is looking forward to end the day full of chores, a mom to-be wants to see her unborn child thus wants to pull the days.  twenty four hours is enough for them.  for me at this time, it isn’t.  for two weeks now, i had been at the office an hour earlier than the regular time in and leaves the office one hour after six.  i am at the office from 7am to 7pm – that’s 12 hours.  i even took  home some unfinished work last saturday and my inbox is still brimming with files to check and folders to audit.  how can i finish everything?  this i haven’t got time to think about.

this blog is written in the small time i have between dinner and sleep.  i dunno when can i write again.  my mind has been full of ideas lately and it’s funny that i am now writing how i don’t have time  write anything. 

i am wanting some more time.  if the universe obliges and if asked what can i give in return? hmm… maybe the big time clock in city hall! this is literally big time… hahaha… tick tock tick tock. : )

thomas frederick

baby thomas

BORN March 14, 2011 at 642am.  At eight pounds and one ounce and 50cm, it is amazing how your mommy fit you in her tummy.  Just the same, welcome to the world Thomas!  May you enjoy life and grow as beautiful as you are now.  May the love from all us give you enough courage to face whatever challenges life may give you. 

You gave me a bit of scare last Monday with the small seizures you had.  But i know, you are a strong baby just as your mom and dad are.  Right now,  i am just happy you are now all right. 

See you soon baby Thomas!